Did I imagine I’d be 33, trying to think up opening lines for dating app conversations while ensuring I’m not being catfished, still reeling from the last guy who started with so much promise but went down the all too frequent ghosting route, attempting to keep hold of the self worth my therapist and I did such a great job of re-discovering after my ex-husband annihilated it in style, meanwhile congratulating friends and family on engagements, new babies and kids’ first days of school…? I’m gonna go ahead and say no.
And do I hate it? I’m gonna go ahead and say, also no. Though it took me a while to get to a place where I could answer like that… It can be rough and there are more than a few WTAF moments. But, I live a pretty great life and dating is just part of that. I’m not down on men, by any means – I love meeting different people, I know there are still good guys out there, and all it takes is one!
The pre-D(ivorce) era took place in the UK and the post-D era is happening in Vancouver, Canada. So I got a fully clean break which helped when I eventually felt ready to date again, 3 and a half years later. Yup, it took me a while. But it wasn’t even really a conscious choice to not date, dating/men/sex were just not even in my waking thoughts. Sleeping thoughts, are they dreams if they’re so distressing?, were a slightly different matter…
I’ve now been dating for a little over a year and a half and when I say it’s been a steep learning curve I’m not lying. From getting to know myself again, and experiencing what I guess I can only describe as my own sexual awakening, to getting to grips with online dating (who thought up this merry hell?), and understanding that you need to find a balance between being open while maintaining a security blanket – it’s been educational to say the least.
The two things it has afforded me is some of the best, funniest, most ridiculous stories I’ve ever had the pleasure to share with my friends, as well as the ability for some pretty big life/love questions to be thrown up. My intention is to share both here.
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